On Realising That I'm Never Going To Be Lord Delingpole

I’m never going to be Lord Delingpole. Nor Sir James Delingpole. Nor even a mere James Delingpole OBE. All this would have come as a bit of a shock to my younger self. I know this because I once found a story I’d written, aged about 10, whose dashing hero was Sir James Delingpole VC. Back then I believed, as most people from my background did, that the surest sign you had made it in life was when you became an ornament of the Establishment.

But I don’t think that way any longer. In the latest New Year Honours one of my old friends, whom I’ve known since we were 19 year old freshers at Oxford, has just been made a lord. And I don’t feel even slightly jealous. On the contrary, I feel rather sorry for him because I know the terrible price he will have had to pay for his £361 per day attendance allowance, subsidised dining and agreeably well-located riverside premises on the north bank of the Thames.

Yes, superficially, it would be nice to have one of those wife-pleasing honorifics that impresses the postman, bags you tables in the best restaurants and increases your chances of getting a flight upgrade on those rare journeys where you’re not already travelling free, first class, on some taxpayer-funded fact-finding mission.

Personally, though, I prefer being able to sleep at night.

No, I’m not so high-minded that I’d reject all the above perks if they were given to me purely as a reward for being me. But that’s never the deal. When you get ‘elevated’ to the House of Lords with a peerage it’s not you that they want. It’s your soul.

Time and again I have watched, aching with disappointment, as friends whom I used to think of as spirited, independent-minded, original, courageous, outspoken have been reduced, on attainment of their titles, into cowed, toothless, spavined jades of the Establishment.

I’ve noticed it especially with the ones who used to be vaguely readable journalists. Once they become lords that’s it, game over. Not a word they write thereafter is worth reading because they are so obviously in hock to whichever political party it was that bought them with their peerage and, beyond that, to the pet causes of the Establishment generally.

By ‘Establishment’ I suppose what I really mean in this instance is the Deep State. So, for example, if the Deep State wants to promote the notion that Putin is the new Hitler, that what the world needs more than anything right now to promote peace is more Storm Shadow missiles sent to help the hero Zelenskyyy in his principled struggle against the Russian bear, and that this - rather than say, struggling to pay their bills - is what all patriotic Britons should really care about most, then that’s what you’ll get to read, every other column, delivered without the slightest glimmer of apparent shame.

It’s this lack of obvious embarrassment I find most puzzling. Do these ex-journalists genuinely believe this drivel or is it that their hearts have hardened and that they have simply come to accept that this is how the world works: that now they are officially part of the Establishment one of their jobs is to keep the little people in check by feeding them noble lies?

I suspect it’s a bit of both, though that could just be naivety and wishful thinking on my part. I’m perfectly open to the possibility that everyone in the Lords is a Satanic paedophile and that this is the entry level deal: you go to the party, do your terrible things, get filmed for Kompromat purposes, sign your pact with the devil in blood - and then, in return, you get your ermine. But the Normie sentimentalist in me still wants to give at least some of these people the benefit of the doubt: no they’re not totally evil, at least not all of them; rather they are just tragic victims of their own blind ambition, a bit like Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus.

Doctor Faustus, I think, is a bit of a shambolic play. But one of things it gets absolutely right is the cruelly unequal nature of the arrangement when you make your pact with the devil. The pleasures Faustus gets to enjoy are fleeting, trivial, and tawdry - I don’t think he even gets actually to shag Helen of Troy; only to glimpse her tantalisingly - while the horrors that await him when he is grabbed by demons and sent screaming to hell are eternal.

I’m not necessarily predicting that this is the fate awaiting every single member of the House of Lords. (God can, famously, be merciful on occasion). But definitely if I were in their shoes, I’d be worried. In order to be worried, though, you’d first need a moral conscience which I don’t believe many of these people actually have.

Yes, that’s a jolly harsh thing to say when some of the lords and ladies to whom I refer are old friends or formerly liked and respected colleagues. But here’s the thing: how is it not totally obvious at this late stage in the game that institutions such as the House of Lords do not remotely serve the interests of you and me, only those of an extremely tiny minority of genuinely wicked people?

The House of Lords, like governments across the world, like the corporations, like the big banks, like the academic institutions, like the entertainment industry, like Big Pharma and the rest, is part of the Beast System. Not everyone who works in those institutions is wholly compromised. But those who rise to the top - and that includes anyone made ‘Lord’ or ‘Baroness’ - are compromised by definition. There are no accidents at the highest levels. You are there because you have sold your soul to the forces of darkness.

Selling your soul to the forces of darkness does not have to involve, say, running an adrenochrome factory in tunnels under the Ukraine or being Hillary Clinton. There are myriad less obvious ways in which the devil can ensnare you, many of which involve the ensnared person feeling really quite good about themselves and persuading themselves that they’re making a difference.

I expect that this is the case for a lot of the people in the Lords. They’ve been given their peerages for services to this or that worthy cause - free speech, say, or education - and they imagine that their consciences are salved. Sure, they might find themselves sharing ermined bench space with one or two people who’d be better suited to a maximum security prison than the Upper House, but the important thing is they can now do useful stuff like scrutinising legislation and dignifying committees and steering the nation in the right direction.

No. Sorry. Not buying this excuse. It’s like accepting a job in Hitler’s cabinet and reassuring yourself that because you’ve only been appointed Minister for Frankfurters and Lederhosen you bear no moral responsibility for any of your colleagues’ more nefarious decisions…

I apologise to the Nazis for any offence that may have been caused by that analogy. Of course, I appreciate that much of what’s being done to us all now under the encroaching New World Order is quite literally worse than Hitler. And the reason this terrible stuff is happening - the chemtrailing; the weather manipulation; the population cull through enforced or semi-enforced vaccination; the destruction of property rights; the war on children’s mental health through bad education, occult ritual pop videos, confected confusion over gender identity; the torture, murder and harvesting of trafficked children; the needless, cooked-up-to-order wars; the Gaza genocide; the green tyranny; to give but a few examples - is that the people who ought to be talking about it aren’t talking about it, and the people who are supposed to protect us from it are looking the other way.

Every member of the House of Lords fits into both those last categories. Every one of them has failed us.

And the ones who have failed us most, oddly enough, aren’t the obvious crooks who effectively bought their titles and are only there for the perks and the prestige. No, the far more dangerous ones are those who do occasionally speak up on issues that matter - but only within the boundaries of what their peers might consider to be politically acceptable discourse.

So, for example, on green issues you might get a sceptical lord prepared to challenge the government on the disastrous economics of Net Zero or the flaws in the modelling of its climate forecasts. But what that sceptical lord is never going to say is: “This is a scam, pure and simple. Climate change is a hoax, pushed for decades by families like the Rockefellers, in order to impoverish us, immiserate us and speed the advent of One World Government.”

On ‘Covid’, you might hear one of the edgier lords retrospectively questioning the necessity of lockdown or even promoting the faux-daring (but actually Establishment) narrative that the ‘virus’ was a result of a Chinese lab leak. But you’ll never get any of them to admit: “This was a Cabal-led cull project, co-ordinated by their cronies at the WHO, nodded through by obedient governments, promoted by a bought-and-paid-for media to weaken, disable or kill millions of people and to train them for the draconian restrictions planned for their future.” Nor will any of them admit: “Vaccines are and always were a con.”

On education, you’ll never hear them say: “Home school your child. The entire education system is broken beyond repair - as was always the plan, for the systematic dumbing down and brainwashing of children is how They will reduce the world’s population to slave status.”

On Gaza: “It’s genocide. They staged October 7th to justify it and it has nothing to do with self-preservation but with border expansion and ethnic cleansing and stoking the next world war.”

On child abuse: “It’s rife. Not just among the Muslim rape gangs that the British authorities have long enabled as part of the Deep State’s divide and rule strategy but among many members of this very institution, the House of Lords. Only in the Lords’ case, it often involves Satanic ritual and child sacrifice, which never comes before the courts because too many Establishment figures are involved, including Cabinet MPs, judges and senior policemen, and anyway that’s how the entire system runs: on Kompromat and demonic energy harnessed from Satanic ritual.”

On ‘terrorist’ attacks: “False flags designed to sow fear, justify increased spending on security and more draconian restrictions on personal freedom.”

You might argue that I am asking too much of our lords and ladies. They have to work within the System. They can’t just go and blow the whole damn thing up.

But that’s exactly my point. They didn’t get elevated to the Lords in order to make things better. They were chosen because they could be relied on not to rock the boat. Their job is to prop up the stinking edifice, not to point out how infested it is with rats, maggots and dry rot.

The House of Lords is a Potemkin village. It exists in order to maintain the illusion of normality in a country which has long since lost any claim to be a civilised ‘representative democracy.’ The state is at war with its people. It steals from them, it represses them, it culls them. Everyone, even non ‘conspiracy theorists’, can feel this, even they can’t put their finger on exactly what’s wrong.

And the reason they can’t put their finger on what’s wrong is because the alarm bells have been disabled. The people and institutions - from the media to the political class - who are supposed to warn them and protect them are instead running cover for their oppressors. That includes the House of Lords, of course. Traitors, the whole lot of them.